Lisa Shuler

“Look Mom, I stomped on it till it was dead!"

Aubrie was around four years old when she walked in the front door of our house with her favorite red dress with bells on the skirt and her favorite white shoes with beads on the laces holding a mouse by its tail when she proudly announced, “Look Mom, I got it!  I’m a little mouse killer!!  I stomped on it (as she demonstrated with vigor) until it was dead!”

“Wow, look at you…okay, let’s take it outside.  How’d you do that?” I asked as I hollered, “Biill, come here, we’re going to the front yard, quick!”  My first reaction was horror at the thought of her chasing down the mouse and stomping on it and then she was HOLDING it IN the HOUSE!  Bill came out with a quizzical look.  With big eyes I explained, “Look, Aubrie caught a mouse and ‘stomped on it till it was dead’…”  I was beginning to mourn the death of the poor little thing as it fell limp on the lawn when Bill shot a quick “look” as if to warn me that I could crush Aubrie who was so proud of  her great victory.  I choked back my feelings and desire to somehow comfort “Mickey Mouse” and view this through the eyes of my four year old whose thought was that she had just rid this world of a vicious varmint. I then pulled it together and  said, “You are sooo brave, Aubrie.  I can’t believe you did that.  Let’s put it in the woods, okay? If you ever see another one, make sure you come and tell me or Daddy first before you do anything, okay?”  She agreed and ran off to play.  Bill and I looked at each other with a gasp and started laughing before he took care of the remains and gave the mouse a proper burial in the woods. (Such a good Dad!)

That is a story I would never forget.  She was so proud and innocent and wanted to win my approval at such a huge accomplishment, which I am sure was difficult for her as she chased it away from the neighbor’s cat and “took care of it” herself.  I had to make a choice not to use that moment as a huge dramatic lesson on the value of life and put aside any fears that there was a seed in her that could grow into the life of a hardened criminal one day.  There would certainly be other opportunities to  train her on such deep subjects of  mercy and the value of life at an unrelated time. Certainly, she would not become a “mass mouse killer” if I missed it after all it was pretty skilled to be able to catch a scampering mouse, right?

The life lesson she needed to learn was the one that showed her I was proud of her as my child and to fulfill her desperate desire to win my approval right then rather than correct her. I gave gentle guidance for the future to consult me if she ever encountered a similar situation.  Lessons are best taught out of relationship and built on a foundation of believing the best and trust.  I knew she wasn’t trying to do anything wrong and that she actually felt she had done something great.  I had to choose to respond with discretion and care  as to how I communicated the way that I viewed her.

The Bible is full of lessons on knowledge and wisdom in Proverbs.  As a parent our daily prayer should be a cry for more of both.

Proverbs 1:2-5 “To know wisdom and instruction, to understand words of insight, to receive instruction in wise dealing, in righteousness, justice, and equity; to give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth – let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance.”

When the world is filled with adults visiting psychologists and therapists for the faults of their parents the Word of God gives us direction as a blueprint to learn of his ways.  We will all make mistakes but we live with the purpose to seek God’s wisdom in raising our children. As it says in Proverbs, we must practice prudence and discretion in dealing with your children.  My husband often tempers my first impulse with a “look” which shifts me to my second thought of answering the question, “How will my daughter perceive my reaction and what is best for her?”

You will never regret taking a deep breath and responding in wisdom rather than reacting with your first impulse.  Recognize the power of your responses to your children especially when they are proud and seek your praise, just as we experience the acceptance and approval of our Father in heaven who gives us grace.   APPROVAL is a deep and anchoring value in the foundation of a child’s life.  There is no limit to the amount of approval you can give a child when the source of that approval comes from your father in heaven.

*This message has been approved by the “mouse killer” herself.